Woke up in the morning, wrote an email. Wept. All the Blue Funk just came gushing out!
I felt the worst I've ever felt since I got here.
Went to class. Shed a few tears there, too.Fuck, what is wrong with me
!?!? I was thinking to myself.
I decided not to skip rehearsal, though I was very tempted.
It was a good decision.
I felt much better having gone to class. It got my mind off things, and I did some solid dancing.
Three hour rehearsals are pretty solid, don't you think?
Then we had a Contextual Studies class.
In class, we were studying SWOT analysis. We were to tell our partner their strengths and weaknesses.According to Georgia, my strength lies in my thinking, the fluidity in my movement, in improvisation in contemporary dance, and in flexibility. And she thinks I've improved massively in Ballet.My weaknesses - Street Dance. My movements arent jerky enough. They're too graceful.
Phil, our lecturer contested my strengths. "All dancers are meant to have flexibility..so that's not really a strength."
I started to nod.
I heard a voice from behind me..Caitlin's voice "She's flexible in different ways!"
I just sat there, frozen, looking from side to side.
And then it all went MAD.
"She can do plie`s in second position without her bum sticking out. we can't do that!"
"She can touch her nose to the floor when we're exercising!"
"She can bang her feet while dancing with so much control!"
Oh GOD...and then they all asked me to demonstrate. In a class of 20 classmates and 20 other strangers(acting and singing diploma students), they told me to get up!!!
"Do the Lisi Perry step..."
"Do that thing with the Plies"
"Do that thing when you're on your side with your leg stretched out!"
"Do that bending over backwards thing and touch the floor!"
"Do that thing where you open your feet out.."
I did it, confused and embarrassed.
"See...now that comes naturally to her"
I was burning.My face must've looked like a monkey's bottom.
"Oooooh! Do your Indian dance...come on!"
So I did. A tiny bit.
Hehehehe...this is the part, by the way, when the day started looking good. I admit, I was feeling very chuffed. And I admit, I feel sheepish writing about it here...but I had NO clue that they all thought all this about me!!
Then we had singing class. It was great! A lot of fun.
But something was still missing. I was walking back home after a long long day..I just got to the gate of the student houses. My phone rang.
It was Ganesh!! Yay! My day just went from good, and satisfying and productive to fucking fantastic!!! It totally made my day! I can't live without him! I just can't. I realise that again and again. Talking today to him, was just like breathing fresh air after being in a claustrophobic stuffy room. It was like really living again. I felt so alive!!!
I can't wait to see him in December.
I spoke to him about 10 minutes ago, and am still feeling like I'm in heaven. :)