Thursday, September 21, 2006

Blinded by Light.

As I walk in, I take in all the black. My pupils enlarge to accommodate the darkness. I squint, my hand blindly reaches for the switch. I try to focus. It’s too dark to see, to cold to feel. I find myself standing in the darkness for just an instant. This is what blindness must feel like.

A little uneasy now, I search for the switch that’ll end my encounter with blindness, with a renewed desperation. Where is the goddamn light?

I feel wool. And warmth. I go closer to it and a familiar aroma engulfs me. It’s my grandfather’s shawl. I can still smell him on it. It plunges me into memories.

Remembering, and devouring them, I reach out with my hand, my sole guide in the dark. My eyes don’t seem to be adjusting to the darkness as they usually do. Perhaps it’s the Guinness I had.

Reaching under my pillow, my hand recognizes a material different from the rough softness of my bedsheet. Scrambling uncomfortably, I get out of my jeans and slip on the shorts. I slump on the bed. I feel it’s uneven-ness. I’m momentarily puzzled. And then, I remember that my jacket, my jeans, my trackpants from the day..were lying in a heap in the middle of the bed. Cursing myself, I dump them on the floor, and smile longingly as I feel the now smooth surface of the bed.

I’m still pondering over my thought…This is what blindness must feel like. I think of colours, I revel in the memory of brightness, I see faces of loved ones in my buzzing head. My mind conjures beautiful images of beautiful faces, spectacular places and stunning monuments.

I can hear music playing somewhere, cars zipping past on the road that otherwise seems out of earshot. I even hear the edge of the curtains rustling against the wall.

I reach for my bedside drawer, and slip the earrings off my earlobes. They seem heavier in the dark. My palm recognizes the handle, I pull it open. A whiff of Vicks Vaporub fills me.

It’s so strange how when you’re blinded, your other senses are so significantly magnified. The sense of smell, of touch, of hearing.

As I try to set the alarm for tomorrow morning, I find the switch to my bedside lamp.

Click.

Instantly my eyelids recoil into a locked eye-shut. It’s a new kind of blindness. I can feel the harshness of the light, even through tightly closed lids.

I think I preferred the other kind of blindness. It’s so unpleasant to be blinded by light.

3 Comments:

Blogger duende said...

i so often end up sleeping on my bag or something like that. huh. hey... i'm off orkut. can't be reached through that anymore. so... mail me. and i'll write back. shverely. darshan.manakkal@gmail.com

September 21, 2006 at 2:15:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Hari Potter said...

The orkutten has deserted his creeedooo!!!!
Anyway, don't forget to turn off the light on your way out. ;)

September 22, 2006 at 10:14:00 PM GMT+5:30  
Blogger Herr Voss said...

i like closing my eyes in a moving car on a sunny days sometimes-even that is quite fun/strange..

September 25, 2006 at 10:26:00 PM GMT+5:30  

Post a Comment

<< Home