Innocence Revisited

Last night I had dreams about school, about sports week, about picking costumes for my show on friday, and about my childhood. I relived a lot of my past last night in my sleep.

I was running around on my 7th birthday...my mum was showing everyone a trick where she peeled a banana and it was sliced on the inside. Everyone was in awe. Toto, however, was not impressed. Thinking about it now makes me smile. He never was one to be deluded. Not as a child anyway. There was a lot of innocence in him, despite that.

I dreamt of the time I got my first barbie doll, and was horribly disappointed at not having gotten something else. I dreamt of little Vanya, Toto and me cutting its hair, drawing a moustache on it and making it wear strange clothes. We destroyed it! We even drew all over the barbie's naked body. So innocent. Hahaha. And then we took it with us into the bathtub into which all four of us comfortably fit and splashed around.

I dreamt of Mahi and Radha, my first friends in school. When I woke up, I thought it was strange to have dreamt about Mahi. It was her 21st birthday yesterday.

I dreamt of sports week, and in particular of running the 1500 meter race, and how it felt to run that last lap of the school field. The desperation you feel to reach the finish line. The exhilaration you feel when you realise you nearly broke the school record. The slight bitter pang of disappointment that you didn't. The way the little toddlers looked at you as if you were some god, when really you were only the sports captain of their school house.

And randomly, I dreamt of picking out clothes for my performance on friday. It must've been on my mind even while I slept.

When I woke up, I felt strangely nostalgic. A little low. But then that would be the alcohol, I think. It's normal to feel low when you come down to normalcy from being high the previous night. Isn't it?

I miss Ganesh.