Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Apologist

I'm not quite sure what R.E.M meant by that song 'The Apologist", but I sure as hell have something to say.

In my previous post (which I have deleted), I spoke some truths, but they were harshly and cruelly spoken, due to incidents that I'm not going to go into again. No justification...I hurt some of the people who meant and will go on to mean a lot to me in my year here in Liverpool.

This is an apology.

I'm really sorry that you had to read that. Given the fact that I hadn't spoken out before, it must've been a nasty shock and a betrayal for most of you, specially for the ones it wasn't directed towards at all. For those of you I spoke to, I told you what I meant and why I said it...but specially for those who I havent spoken to basically all boils down to the fact that...well, despite everything, I love you guys..and I'm really happy and relieved that you have been there for me, in whatever way you can.

I was frustrated and annoyed and upset about everything, and I was trying to defend a fellow classmate in a stupid manner. That's no excuse..but by judging me by the 6 months you've known me, you have the liberty to decide what I meant. And I will totally understand your decision, whatever it is.

Thank you, those of you who've been there for me even at this rough time, and thank you to those who didn't misunderstand me, and thank you even to those who kept the fire from spreading to other areas.

"I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own piece of mind" - 'Clementine Kruchinisky' in 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'