Happily depressed?
Strange...I consider myself a happy person and yet..I am drawn to depressing films, depressing songs, depressing books...They move me in a way that happy things don't always touch me. Not never, but definitely not always. But a sad song, a tragic film, or a heart wrenching book almost always draws my attention and I get hooked.
I'm troubled, and puzzled.
What does this mean?
Does this mean I am a depressed person?
I don't think so! It can't be - I am so happy!
Does it mean that we feel sadness and tragedy with more intensity than we feel happiness?
I'm not sure...I've felt sadness with the kind of intensity that I wouldn't inflict on my worst enemy...but I've also felt so much happiness that it's actually brought tears to my eyes.
Does it mean I've not let go of things that happened in the past and that the past has marred me with scars that haven't yet gone away? Perhaps I do have trouble letting go of certain things, but I certainly don't consider myself marred and disfigured with scars from the past.
I'm very confused. So I've decided to call it 'Happily depressed'. It's not a permanent state of being, like manic depression. It's a bit more transitory, like euphoria. Except it's not euphoria. It's being happily depressed.
Anyone know what I'm talking about?
I'm troubled, and puzzled.
What does this mean?
Does this mean I am a depressed person?
I don't think so! It can't be - I am so happy!
Does it mean that we feel sadness and tragedy with more intensity than we feel happiness?
I'm not sure...I've felt sadness with the kind of intensity that I wouldn't inflict on my worst enemy...but I've also felt so much happiness that it's actually brought tears to my eyes.
Does it mean I've not let go of things that happened in the past and that the past has marred me with scars that haven't yet gone away? Perhaps I do have trouble letting go of certain things, but I certainly don't consider myself marred and disfigured with scars from the past.
I'm very confused. So I've decided to call it 'Happily depressed'. It's not a permanent state of being, like manic depression. It's a bit more transitory, like euphoria. Except it's not euphoria. It's being happily depressed.
Anyone know what I'm talking about?
posted by Sylvan Goddess at 8:43 PM
4 Comments:
U r just sentimental, that is all.
Dont try to diagnose your condition in psuedo-psycholgical terms.
Be yourself, but remember Ella Wheeler Wilcox's poem:-
Laugh and the world laaughs with u
Weep and u weep alone
For the sad old earth
must borrow her mirth
but has trouble enough of her own.
Cheer up.
Oh, you misunderstood. Am not feeling depressed or low or anything. Was just rambling and reflecting, that's all.
And worry not, I'm being myself. There's no other way I know how to be! :D
Goddess:
(An opinion of a 'quack' in psychology)
Depression has a tendency to create a hard casing. One tends to become numb to stimulii. (Particularly emotional ones)
The fact that you feel, albeit for tragic stuff, proves you are not a "depressed person".
The fact that you allow and acknowledge those feelings shows that you have a fairly mature mind. (Now, how you react to those feelings... well, that will be evidence to the extent of that maturity.)
In fact this analysing post is evidence of it.
People are often afraid to acknowledge that they feel something. They go into a minor form of denial throughout life.
Why do the sad things affect more than the happy ones...
Maybe there are just more of those stimulii? Maybe you are more sensitised to them? (Past, background, environment, etc.) Could be many reasons.
Based on your blog, my (esteemed... ha ha) opnion is that you're fine.
:)
ah. i recommend beer. :)
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